I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
