You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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