We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So many bounce houses so little time
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
