Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
