so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga