We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The beer is more important than you right now.
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She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...