So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment