just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
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He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven