Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize