i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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