I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
