I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
