I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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