I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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