i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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