I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
