so explain again why im purple
no
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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