made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
