Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
