Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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