I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
