dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
