i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
