coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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