So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
