Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I am one with the molecules
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