he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
