So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
