Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
