we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just googled if crying burns calories
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
