I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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