we have pet lesbian snakes
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
