Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
