If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
