Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
