Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
