I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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