There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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