awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
