Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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