Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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