no, he came in my armpit
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Found your dick twin last night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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