Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
