Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
