Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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