I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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