Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i dont even know how to be here
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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