oh god the rape fog is back!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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