Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
