I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
