so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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