I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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