just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
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There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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