i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
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Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
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For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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