i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
