shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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