I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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