Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i love accidental penises.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
