youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize