And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
