I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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