is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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