this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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